- Subject: English 101
- Topic: Argument Essay for Unsympathetic Audience
- Style: MLA
- Number of pages: 3 pages/double spaced (825 words)
- PowerPoint slides: 0
- Number of source/references: 1
- Extra features: –
Please answer this question. What is Achebe’s primary message (his universal idea regarding human behavior in a society
relating to cultural conflicts in general) that he intended to convey to his audience?
Here is my professor’s feedback. In your introduction, you provide relevant background information relating to Achebe’s portrayal of the Nigerian/British colonization-based cultural conflicts. You close out your introduction with a thoughtful thesis statement relating to Achebe’s message that victors will redefine/reframe the traditions of the vanquished; I encourage you to identify which group Achebe considers the victors and which group he considers the vanquished. Also, your thesis statement for this essay is somewhat different from your thesis statement for your sympathetic audience essay (in which you mention Okonkwo’s inability to deal with cultural changes); you might consider broadening your thesis statement for this essay by citing the inability of the Nigerians to deal with cultural changes caused by the British’s colonization (to make your thesis statements for your essays more similar). A side note: Mention Achebe’s first name the first time you refer to this author (in your first sentence).
In your body paragraphs for your unsympathetic audience essay, you consistently make insightful assertions relating to the colonization-based conflicts. For example, I like how in your first body paragraph you examine how the District Commissioner (while trying to maintain a benevolent leader image) oversimplifies the seriousness of Okonkwo’s struggles relating to cultural changes that the British bring to Umuofia. In this and your subsequent paragraphs, I encourage you to include direct quotations (from the same pages that you cite in these paragraphs if you wish) to further support your assertions. Ideally, at least two quotations from the novel will appear in your body paragraphs.
Also, as I am sure you are aware, this essay needs a refutation paragraph (before your conclusion) in which you acknowledge the opposition’s counterargument (for example, that the British’s changes do not significantly alter Nigerian traditions/beliefs), then refute this counterargument with at least one quotation from the novel.
Your conclusion wonderfully reaffirms your main ideas in your essay. Your powerful closing statement–that Achebe’s primary message was that the British did not have to make room for themselves in Nigeria by obliterating the Igbo’s traditions/lifestyle–could also be mentioned in your introduction at your thesis statement.